Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down!

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Double standards in societies start.  Women are controlled--set to a level of standard men don't have to worry about.

Double standards continue and eventually, the women want a piece of the action as well.  And a revolution begins.

It starts slowly, women who "rebel" are at first are called names, put down, punished, harassed, beaten, tortured, or even murdered.

Over time, as more women start to follow, the changes slowly become accepted in society.  Then they take the next step in...and the next, utill eventually it is equality for men and women.  What equality you say? It is that women get to have the same "fun" and "freedom" as the men--forget about what religion has to say about it.

This is what happens in most societies and what will happen in the future in the societies where the women are still being controlled by their men, who have always been free to do as they please.

We are in the midst of this revolution here in UAE as we speak.

Is 100% of the blame on men?  No-- because not every man is bad and not every woman is good.  But society-wise, or culturally, a big part of this starts with the men.

At first, the women are behaved, sitting at home, waiting for their husbands, teaching their daughters to be the same way as they grow up and eventually marry.

The men--while they do work, are also out hanging out with the guys, frequenting coffee shops, "people watching" when it really is "staring down at all the girls/women."

They are also out at sheesha cafes , or billiard halls, where pretty women are waitressing and serving them.

They are out flirting with women, dating, having pre-marital sex.  It's all ok, everyone turns the other cheek, because "boys will be boys"--but they will only marry virgins.

Eventually, the girls want to have the freedom to go out as well.  To go out with their friends, go out to the mall (without any male escort), and to frequent cafes etc...   And if they want to smoke sheesha or cigarrettes, at the beginning it is a huge taboo for them to do so.... but over time, it slowly becomes more normal to see girls smoking it as well.

Girls then start to want to have the fun of flirting with the boys as well.  It is not only boys/men who have these urges.

Although virgin girls choose to not question that they are marrying men who have been sexually active, they start to get sick of this double standard that the men get to sew their wild oats while they are being "good girls" and saving themselves.

Girls start wanting to get to date...  and then to get to have pre-marital sex as well.   At first, of course they will do it as secretly as possible.  But eventually they will become more bold and start flirting and dating in public.  And they will eventually demand that they shouldn't be labelled as sluts for doing so, if the men get to do it too without being labelled.

 It all eventually becomes normal in societies that boys and girls will be out there flirting, dating, and even having sex before marriage.  It might happen more slowly in some societies, but it eventually does/will happen.

 These are the wrong rights to seek.  They are not rights given to men or women in Islam.  It should be women demanding that men conform to the same moral standards women are expected to conform to.  But reality is different.  Men don't want to change--they want to upkeep the "boys will be boys" mentality, so eventually the women will rebel, and want to be free to do as the boys do.

 It is different from the rebelling of women against oppression, or equal pay for equal work, equal educational opportunities etc... in Islamic societies for instance, educated women start learning their rights and fight the fact that culturally, men regularly disregard womens' rights. These are rights we shouldn't even have to fight for, but unfortunately, reality is very different in so many societies.

 Maybe if more men really practiced Islam the way it should be, more women would not end up bitter, disappointed, and sick of the fact that they are the only ones expected to follow these morals in Islam more strictly.  People need to stop turning the other cheek to the wrongs that men do culturally---but it is a sad reality that this will not happen in most cases.

 Before anyone goes up in arms over the statements I have made, I am not saying that each and every person is like this.  There are both men and women who will always strive hard to stay on the right path morally.  I am talking about societies/cultures as a whole.  It is a reality that has happened in some countries, is happening right now as we speak in other countries, and will happen in the future in other countries.

 It doesn't mean we should all just give up and go with the flow.  Let us at least start with ourselves, our families, and raise sons and daughters with the same moral teachings and expectations, and be good examples to others.

May Allah keep us on the right path.

Ameen.